


Welcome to Weirdsville

by mrv3000



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Humor, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-24
Updated: 2009-02-24
Packaged: 2017-10-19 17:25:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/203318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrv3000/pseuds/mrv3000
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With a half-alien becoming a father, things are bound to get a bit weird for Rose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Welcome to Weirdsville

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to shinyopals for betaing!

Thirty seconds after breaking the news she was pregnant, Rose realized this was weirdsville for both of them.

The Doctor whooped, kissed her and then asked, "Where is it?"

Rose blinked at him, to which he blinked back.

"What do you mean, 'where is it?'" she asked.

He looked at her like she just dribbled something on her jumper. "Uh...you just said you were pregnant. Normally that means there's a baby involved. So where is he or she?"

Rose returned the look. "Inside me."

"SLAP ME AND CALL ME SPANKY! Gah! Sorry, Donna there. But OH! I suppose I have seen pregnant women wandering around on Earth! Not that I paid much attention, really. How _odd_. We stopped using corporeal gestation several millennia ago. Nasty business and terribly hard on the body. Plus the gestation cube is rather handy and sort of like having one of those hamster habitats. I seem to recall humans finally getting to that point around the year...seven billion? We could pop ahead and get it set up."

Rose stared at him. "What?"

"You know, a little cube so you don't have to do that whole messy pregnancy thing and get all fat and stuff?"

"WHAT?"

"What?"

Rose sputtered for a moment, shaking her head. "You want me...to put the baby in a cube...SO I DON'T GET FAT??"

The Doctor's hand flew to the back of his neck. "That's not _exactly_ the reason. Well, part of it. Sort of?"

Rose kept staring.

"Blimey!" He jumped back. "Did I squish it just now? No, that can't be right. Humans would have never survived if the process was that delicate." He whipped on his glasses and dived towards her, lifting up her jumper. He gently prodded her stomach with his fingers. "Seems unnatural, though." The Doctor peered up at her. "Ever see the film _Alien_?"

And that's when Rose felt the need to sit down. "Please don't tell me the reason you used cubes was because the baby would burst out of its mother!"

"No! Don't be silly! At least I don't think--"

Rose shot him another look.

"OF COURSE NOT! Well...bursting in the 'look, I'm giving birth' bursting way, not the _Alien_ way." He scratched his chin thoughtfully. "But I'd imagine that had something to do with the cubes in the first place." He then frowned, taking her hand. "Rose, you're...you're not thinking of keeping it inside you, are you? There are risks and all sorts of things that can go wrong."

The only thing that stopped her from calling him completely ridiculous was the genuine concern in his eyes. "Well..." she said thoughtfully, "Given that until a couple of minutes ago I'd never even heard of these cube things, I think I'm gonna have to think about it."

He looked skeptical as he rubbed his thumb over her hand. "I could get you a brochure. I'm sure they've got loads of pamphlets on it. And...I could make a cube sock! A Winnie the Pooh cube sock?" He grinned an enormous grin and patted her stomach, moving his head in close. "Hello in there! How'd you like a Winnie the Pooh cube sock? What's that, you say? You'd love it? Brilliant!"

Rose couldn't help but grin at that. It wouldn't hurt to at least _look_ at the information. Then she could tell him 'no' by telling him exactly why. Probably 'no.' Maybe. She'd see.

"You know, either way we're still gonna be parents. You and me. Sorta weird, yeah?" Rose asked.

The Doctor looked up at her, still grinning. "Yeah. But it's a whole new adventure."

She smiled. "Yeah."

"Ooh, you know what I love best about babies?"

"What's that?"

"Their soft little tails."

She was back to blinking. "What??"

He blinked back. "What?"

And that's when Rose felt the need to lie down.


End file.
